This past summer, a friend who was growing veggies in her garden, had a cucumber plant that she was harvesting with her two young boys. Her 6-year old son, upon plucking a large cucumber from the vine asked, "Mom, is this the world's largest cucumber?" My friend, seizing on a potential educational moment replied, "I don't know- let's go inside and google images of big cucumbers". I think you Internet savvy people can guess what happened next...and it did not involve pics of veggies!
Maybe because I studied the media in University, or maybe because I work in it today, I am extra cautious when it comes to TV and Internet with my kids. Amazingly, they have never watched any prime-time sitcoms, are blissfully unaware of reality television and have never surfed the Internet freely without supervision (at least not on my watch). We have a PVR and they watch shows that we have chosen for them to watch, with the freedom to tune-in anytime to channel 810, Oasis HD- nothing brings a kid down from hyperactivity like a documentary on the desperate plight of the rare Albino Rhino!
This past Christmas, as we wrapped gift after gift of lame, un-fun (i.e. educational) toys, my husband cracked. "That's it!" he cried. "Can't these kids get even one cool gift for once- instead of this boring crap?" The next day, he went out and finally fulfilled my eldest son's long-standing desire to be like "everyone else at school!!!!" He purchased an iPod Touch. Christmas morning, when my son unwrapped that little package of endless possibilities, his eyes were alight with excitement and appreciation. He jumped up and down, he beamed from ear-to-ear, he hugged us continuously and then he turned it on and....(insert record scratch)- bust. "Mom, why don't I have Safari? Where's Twitter? Where's Facebook? Where did the App Store go? Why are there no songs? Why is this iPod missing all the cool stuff??"
Well, to bottom-line it for you, I removed all of the cool stuff- all of it. There is NO WAY my 9-year old is going to be huddled up in his room, surfing the net (is "surfing the net" a term we still use? I'm so not down with the times), looking at who-knows-what, chatting to who-knows-who...downloading god-knows-what...NO WAY!! If he wants a song, or an app, or supervised Internet access, he has to go through me to get it. Essentially, I have dialed-down the fun-factor of the iPod Touch so that he has a $200 date and time display.
These are scary times for our kids- they are just one click away on a remote control or computer from seeing revolting, violent, inappropriate things I cannot even fathom!! Back in my day, all we had were some old back issues of National Geographic...and seeing long, droopy boobs on an indigenous person does not keep you coming back for more! I know that in a couple of years, no matter how I try, he will likely see all sorts of bad things, probably through friends with older brothers (damn you older brothers of friends!!), or watch unsupervised when I leave the house. For now, is it so wrong to wrap kids up in a cyber bubble and listen to them complain about my being a mean and oh-so-lame Mom? I don't think so. I wear my Lame-Mom badge with pride and until the day they can finally outwit me, I will endeavor to stay two steps ahead of them. I should have bought the web domain: www.lamemom.com but it's already taken...and it likely leads to a site with prancing, nude older women, goats and jell-o!!
Maybe because I studied the media in University, or maybe because I work in it today, I am extra cautious when it comes to TV and Internet with my kids. Amazingly, they have never watched any prime-time sitcoms, are blissfully unaware of reality television and have never surfed the Internet freely without supervision (at least not on my watch). We have a PVR and they watch shows that we have chosen for them to watch, with the freedom to tune-in anytime to channel 810, Oasis HD- nothing brings a kid down from hyperactivity like a documentary on the desperate plight of the rare Albino Rhino!
This past Christmas, as we wrapped gift after gift of lame, un-fun (i.e. educational) toys, my husband cracked. "That's it!" he cried. "Can't these kids get even one cool gift for once- instead of this boring crap?" The next day, he went out and finally fulfilled my eldest son's long-standing desire to be like "everyone else at school!!!!" He purchased an iPod Touch. Christmas morning, when my son unwrapped that little package of endless possibilities, his eyes were alight with excitement and appreciation. He jumped up and down, he beamed from ear-to-ear, he hugged us continuously and then he turned it on and....(insert record scratch)- bust. "Mom, why don't I have Safari? Where's Twitter? Where's Facebook? Where did the App Store go? Why are there no songs? Why is this iPod missing all the cool stuff??"
Well, to bottom-line it for you, I removed all of the cool stuff- all of it. There is NO WAY my 9-year old is going to be huddled up in his room, surfing the net (is "surfing the net" a term we still use? I'm so not down with the times), looking at who-knows-what, chatting to who-knows-who...downloading god-knows-what...NO WAY!! If he wants a song, or an app, or supervised Internet access, he has to go through me to get it. Essentially, I have dialed-down the fun-factor of the iPod Touch so that he has a $200 date and time display.
These are scary times for our kids- they are just one click away on a remote control or computer from seeing revolting, violent, inappropriate things I cannot even fathom!! Back in my day, all we had were some old back issues of National Geographic...and seeing long, droopy boobs on an indigenous person does not keep you coming back for more! I know that in a couple of years, no matter how I try, he will likely see all sorts of bad things, probably through friends with older brothers (damn you older brothers of friends!!), or watch unsupervised when I leave the house. For now, is it so wrong to wrap kids up in a cyber bubble and listen to them complain about my being a mean and oh-so-lame Mom? I don't think so. I wear my Lame-Mom badge with pride and until the day they can finally outwit me, I will endeavor to stay two steps ahead of them. I should have bought the web domain: www.lamemom.com but it's already taken...and it likely leads to a site with prancing, nude older women, goats and jell-o!!
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