Ah, the dreaded minivan. The auto industry's equivalent to sweatpants. Roomy, comfy, non-threatening and generally unflattering to the owner. My parenting mantra was "I will never own a minivan"...and then suddenly I found myself preggers with baby #3 and had to face facts- the only vehicle on the road able to accommodate three car seats was the very beast I had mentally battled for so long. Ugh. This was not going to be good for my image, I worried. The mere thought of owning a van was tantamount to pulling up next to a studly guy at the lights and seeing that he drives a red Mazda Miata- strangely repulsive.
But what choice did I have? So I went van shopping. Entering the dealership, my stomach turned as I shuffled into the purveyors of these "sweatpants on wheels". Did I mention that I do not even own sweatpants? This was all so tremendously unsavory to me on a core level.
But those who owned vans swore by them. So it was either, travel as a family of four and leave one kid behind to fend for themselves, or the more pragmatic and logical approach, purchase a minivan (even the mere name brought bile up my throat).
And then, it happened. I stepped inside of one and the rest is history. For those of you who have not yet embraced your inner minivan, let me tell you that not all minivans are saggy-bottomed sweatpants. No! Some are Lululemons. Sleek, sexy and best of all, flattering to be seen in- with a nice rear-end (or at least this is what I tell myself to ease the pain of being seen driving one).
Once I stepped foot inside that black and beautiful Nissan Quest, with its cheeky chrome roof-racks, leather seats that beg for more and drop-down DVD player to keep the kids mum on road trips, I was overcome with rapture. No wood panels, rusty wheels or leaky tailpipe for me. I would be a yummy mummy in motion, gliding through the 'hood, wind in my hair (from the A/C of course) nodding cordially to gawking wannabes. Yes ladies, the minivan was cool...well, for five blurry, overtired years it was.
Now I've come to my senses again and the van is really all too practical for my tastes. Especially now that I have options again. Yes! Wyatt (aka Bossy) has graduated to a simple lap-belt like the rest of 8+ civilization. Oh, what possibilities! Now I can wedge his skinny bum anywhere into almost any vehicle and even between his booster-seated bros! Life is full of promise again!!
Plus let's face it, a five-year old van that transports three young boys, day in and day out, is really a 20-year old vehicle in terms of wear and tear, stench and destruction. Mama needs a new ride friends...and come hell or high water, it will be a vehicle that has pep, speed, corners like it's on rails and yes, looks awesome!
(Ok, fine...it will likely be another van, who's kidding who...but please don't burst my tires on this fantasy- everyone needs a dream!).
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| somebody shoot me... |
But those who owned vans swore by them. So it was either, travel as a family of four and leave one kid behind to fend for themselves, or the more pragmatic and logical approach, purchase a minivan (even the mere name brought bile up my throat).
And then, it happened. I stepped inside of one and the rest is history. For those of you who have not yet embraced your inner minivan, let me tell you that not all minivans are saggy-bottomed sweatpants. No! Some are Lululemons. Sleek, sexy and best of all, flattering to be seen in- with a nice rear-end (or at least this is what I tell myself to ease the pain of being seen driving one).
Once I stepped foot inside that black and beautiful Nissan Quest, with its cheeky chrome roof-racks, leather seats that beg for more and drop-down DVD player to keep the kids mum on road trips, I was overcome with rapture. No wood panels, rusty wheels or leaky tailpipe for me. I would be a yummy mummy in motion, gliding through the 'hood, wind in my hair (from the A/C of course) nodding cordially to gawking wannabes. Yes ladies, the minivan was cool...well, for five blurry, overtired years it was.
Now I've come to my senses again and the van is really all too practical for my tastes. Especially now that I have options again. Yes! Wyatt (aka Bossy) has graduated to a simple lap-belt like the rest of 8+ civilization. Oh, what possibilities! Now I can wedge his skinny bum anywhere into almost any vehicle and even between his booster-seated bros! Life is full of promise again!!
Plus let's face it, a five-year old van that transports three young boys, day in and day out, is really a 20-year old vehicle in terms of wear and tear, stench and destruction. Mama needs a new ride friends...and come hell or high water, it will be a vehicle that has pep, speed, corners like it's on rails and yes, looks awesome!
(Ok, fine...it will likely be another van, who's kidding who...but please don't burst my tires on this fantasy- everyone needs a dream!).
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