There's a great and well known parenting adage I subscribe to: "Never do for your kids what they can do for themselves". Not only does it help kids to be more responsible, confident and independent, but having them do more, means I get to do less! Now I have so much time on my hands I can even complain more!!
My little fellas are now aged 8, almost 6 and 4. Wyatt, the eldest (aka Bossy), frequently does his own laundry, cleans bathrooms, vacuums, mops, dusts and even has crabs! (Hermit crabs...the pet variety). He's even started making breakfast for the family and his own school lunches. He gets paid for none of this.
Noah and Spencer, the younger brothers (aka Needy and Demanding) also clean bathrooms, vacuum, dust, polish, help with laundry washing/folding, sweep floors, wipe tables, garden, etc... No money there either. This is all on top of their daily expectations- to wake independently, pick their own clothes (now you know why they always look so gaudy), get dressed, tidy rooms, make beds and so on.
At first glance, if your own kids do none of this, you will likely accuse me of running some sort of kiddie concentration camp. "Kids doing household work! How cruel!" On the contrary, I remind our guys that our family is also a TEAM and that any team is only as good as the individual players. So to run this household effectively, we all pitch in. Okay, by now you can only imagine the complaining from kids and yes, they do toss out the ever popular "I don't want to" more than once a day to which I retort, "neither do I, but we do it anyway". I have taken on the role of team coach...in case you were wondering...so yes, I have a clipboard.
In an all-male household I am acutely aware that I am:
a) the main and only female role model (besides the cat...but she licks herself)
b) greatly outnumbered by XY chromosomes
c) the only one that needs the toilet seat to be in the down position to urinate
Ignoring points b and c for a moment (and the part about Minou the cat), I feel entirely responsible for ensuring that these little tykes grow into amazing, capable, communicative and caring men. I want to show them that women can do it all and as such I put my best foot forward to model non-traditional female behaviour in front of them: weight-training, cutting grass, taking on construction jobs, giving my husband piggie-back rides, occasionally burping, etc... On the flip side, I also try and model more traditional female behaviours: cuddling, endless chit-chat, letting them brush my hair, pretending to be hurt so that they can try and comfort me- you know, all the drama they will one day encounter with their future wives.
Field note: So far only Needy and Demanding (boys 2 and 3) seem to display genuine concern regarding my false injuries...Bossy (boy 1) doesn't even flinch...must increase his exposure to Gilmore Girls and Oprah reruns by 100%.
As I type this, Bossy is sweeping, Needy is wiping the table and Demanding is holding the dust-pan, albeit grudgingly. And gosh darn it, one day these guys are going to make great husbands! (either that or they will rebel only to eventually be featured on TLC's 2025 season of "Hoarders: My Mother Is To Blame" edition.
My little fellas are now aged 8, almost 6 and 4. Wyatt, the eldest (aka Bossy), frequently does his own laundry, cleans bathrooms, vacuums, mops, dusts and even has crabs! (Hermit crabs...the pet variety). He's even started making breakfast for the family and his own school lunches. He gets paid for none of this.
Noah and Spencer, the younger brothers (aka Needy and Demanding) also clean bathrooms, vacuum, dust, polish, help with laundry washing/folding, sweep floors, wipe tables, garden, etc... No money there either. This is all on top of their daily expectations- to wake independently, pick their own clothes (now you know why they always look so gaudy), get dressed, tidy rooms, make beds and so on.
At first glance, if your own kids do none of this, you will likely accuse me of running some sort of kiddie concentration camp. "Kids doing household work! How cruel!" On the contrary, I remind our guys that our family is also a TEAM and that any team is only as good as the individual players. So to run this household effectively, we all pitch in. Okay, by now you can only imagine the complaining from kids and yes, they do toss out the ever popular "I don't want to" more than once a day to which I retort, "neither do I, but we do it anyway". I have taken on the role of team coach...in case you were wondering...so yes, I have a clipboard.
In an all-male household I am acutely aware that I am:
a) the main and only female role model (besides the cat...but she licks herself)
b) greatly outnumbered by XY chromosomes
c) the only one that needs the toilet seat to be in the down position to urinate
Ignoring points b and c for a moment (and the part about Minou the cat), I feel entirely responsible for ensuring that these little tykes grow into amazing, capable, communicative and caring men. I want to show them that women can do it all and as such I put my best foot forward to model non-traditional female behaviour in front of them: weight-training, cutting grass, taking on construction jobs, giving my husband piggie-back rides, occasionally burping, etc... On the flip side, I also try and model more traditional female behaviours: cuddling, endless chit-chat, letting them brush my hair, pretending to be hurt so that they can try and comfort me- you know, all the drama they will one day encounter with their future wives.
Field note: So far only Needy and Demanding (boys 2 and 3) seem to display genuine concern regarding my false injuries...Bossy (boy 1) doesn't even flinch...must increase his exposure to Gilmore Girls and Oprah reruns by 100%.
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| "Demanding" harvesting veggies from the garden |
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